Georgetownrose

from glory to glory…

Archive for the tag “blessings in circumstances”

Weak Days & New Beginnings…

Lately, I have been having an onslaught of weak days—feeling tired, floundering, losing interest in ordinary things, overwhelmed, even a little sick…wondering greatly what has attacked me, as if knowing the “WHY” or the “WHAT” would give me the rational strength from within to effect my healing and release from the weight. News flash! I looked and there was no strength from within…

So, I started talking it out with the Lord; and in my conversation with the Lord, I have had to confess my rebellion, my “I don’t want to do ‘it;’ I don’t feel like ‘it’…” a pattern of thought which I have allowed myself to entertain for far too many days and nights…

Well, I figured I  needed some sanctified cognitive behavioral therapy…

By God’s grace, it occurred to me to just stop for one moment and challenge that repetitive thought pattern, wondering why indeed I would permit that to have its way in my sanctified mind, instead of calling out to Jesus to touch me and make me want to do “it” (whatever “it” I am refusing to do in the ordinary life and my dusty existence). The current catalog of “its” for which I have lost my rhythm and interest include simple things like making decisions, a reasonable appetite, making healthy meals, knitting, a daily walk, simple sewing projects and writing…

I am reflecting on why this sudden relapse into the old patterns of thought, old habits, which seemed to flee from me in the springtime of this year…I remember that then I began a new beginning of seeing the matchless grace of Christ, how sufficient His grace is for me, how perfect His strength is made in my weaknesses…and blessed release from old habits, enjoying a new beginning…

Just now, I am realizing in my heart—not just an intellectual kind of recognition—but down in my kishkes—that this discipline in my walk with Jesus is a seasonal kind of experience…Well, duh! (I don’t know why that is so mysterious a concept to get into my grey cells and remember; perhaps, the influences of this culture)…

I find that I am constant and seemingly unchallenged in my commitment to a new beginning for a period of time. Then, without warning, I am prone to fall away—my thinking skips beats; the focus I once enjoyed without a grievous effort has now, of a sudden, become a constant, unyielding struggle to regain.  I lose my former breath which once fed my soul and filled me…and I realize I need another new beginning…in my weakness I need another healing touch from Jesus…

So here is a new season, the Feast of Trumpets, the Days of Awe and Remembrance…a wonderful and timely moment for another new beginning…to remember that the grace of Messiah Jesus is sufficient for me, for His strength is made perfect in my weakness 2 Corinthians 12.9

god-strength2

All I need to do is call on Him to make me want His strengthening grace to do what He has formed me to do from the womb…This is the discipline I dare not forget or fail to recognize from season to season …

Beloved, if you are going through this kind of season, may God grant you the grace to recognize it for what it is; and by His grace, may God bring you to Him to find the truth that the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ is sufficient for you, that His strength alone is made perfect in your weakness. By this may He grant you a new beginning…

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Examining Ecclesiastes: The Good News

So, I have not committed suicide after having delved into the book of Ecclesiastes. Although, I once identified so strongly with the truth of the futility of humanism, that I did contemplate how I could reverse my birth and cease to exist…

Ecclesiastes 4.2-3. “Yet, better than both [the dead and the living] is he who has never existed…”

I said in my earlier post that Ecclesiastes 7.29 looks back to Genesis 3.6-7. But Ecclesiastes ends on a good note as it looks forward to the good news of God’s righteous judgment 12.14 (also see Ecclesiastes 8.11-13). That’s correct; I said, “The good news of God’s righteous judgment.” God will ultimately be exposing every secret thing, whether it is good or evil…

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Solomon does not go into detail about his assurance that it will be well with those who fear God, who fear before Him; in fact, he states that when he applied his heart to see, he was unable to discover the work of God…Of course, he could go back and remember what God promised his father David concerning that Holy One who would be revealed as King forever; but still, for all the meditating upon it, Solomon could not lay hold of how this work of God would come to pass. Nevertheless, he writes of his assurance in Ecclesiastes 8.12

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Now, I am on the “other side” of the Greatest Moment in history, that climactic Moment of redemption. Although, by the grace of God, I have the great blessing to see what the work to which God was pointing in Ecclesiastes 8.12 and 12.14, Solomon was granted unshakeable faith by the grace of God in his moment of searching what he could not see…

 The Good News of God’s Righteous Judgment in Ecclesiastes points to the Holy One from David’s line—none other than the Lord Jesus Himself. Jesus plainly states that all judgment has been given to Him by God the Father:

“For the Father judges no one, but has committed all judgment to the Son…and has given Him authority to execute judgment…because He is the Son of Man” (John 5.22,27)

(The description of Jesus as Son of Man can be found in Daniel 7.13-14)… Jesus amplifies the message of judgment when He declares to His disciples that [after His atoning death, resurrection and ascension], the Holy Spirit will be poured out on all flesh and the Holy Spirit will convict the world of sin, of righteousness and of judgment (John 16.7-10)… How will God work this out?

“…Because the ruler of this world is judged…” (John 16.11; also John 12.31; Colossians 1.19-20; 2.15)…

Just take a moment to wrap your little grey cells around that wonder of God’s inscrutable work…

So, is there anything new under the sun? The Word of God says there is…I have many thoughts, but will share in another post. For now, in a world where “there is nothing new under the sun,” I remember this from another holy blogger named Jeremiah who had a great lament:

“Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning…” (Lamentations 3.22-23)

Examining Ecclesiastes-All Is Vanity…

“Is there anything of which it may be said, ‘See, this is new’? It has already been in ancient times before us. There is no remembrance of former things, nor will there be any remembrance of things that are to come by those who will come after.”   –Ecclesiastes 1.10-11

meaning-of-life

Examining Ecclesiastes could be depressing, mostly because it reminds the reader of a very great king who was gifted beyond all that I  could ever comprehend, and this king discovered how he lost his memory of the purpose for all the gifting in his life. Ecclesiastes is also very convicting, and I think many of us are scared to read it because the same king who stumbled over his own gifting recognized his “self” was just like all men:

“Truly, this only I have found: that God made man upright, but they have sought out many schemes.”

–Ecclesiastes 7.29.

Here, Ecclesiastes looks back and remembers Genesis 3.6-7 (In my Bible, Ecclesiastes 7.29 is cross referenced to Genesis 3.6-7. Verse 7.29 jumped off the page at me before I even saw the cross reference…)

King Solomon’s blog begins with his observation of the order and rhythm of creation. In Ecclesiastes 1, he writes almost as if he is amazed to observe how the sun rises and sets in its course all the livelong day; the wind has its established patterns; the rivers all run their courses from their source to the seas; the seas are never full and the rivers are all replenished by the rains from the clouds as by established purpose. These elements and others in creation do not hunger for anything new or exotic; creation is content to follow the plan laid out for it, each in its ordained element. Creation never wants for purpose; never seeks to run a different course or entertain itself with a new experience or a new work; creation never worries about satisfying any appetite, whether it be for more wind, more water, more sun, more earth, or whether it be more prodigious in achievement to prove its value or compete with all the other elements. Everything in creation–EXCEPT FOR MAN–obeys God’s purpose for it and is satisfied to do so. The wind blows; the seas stop where God commands them to stay; dirt always becomes mud when the rain falls upon it; molecules always bond according to their atomic structure; (and if the elements did not obey the physical laws ordained by God–indeed, if there is even one stray molecule in the universe–be very afraid when you drink that brew you routinely expect to be coffee…)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When Solomon remembers man’s activity, he sees that man–like a stray molecule–seeks out many schemes, always hungry for a new experience, a new thrill, not content for very long with an established path. Because man has chosen to reject the purpose for which God has created him, he now always feels deprivation; and unlike the rest of creation, he seeks to satisfy and fill all the emptiness he feels as a result of his own rejection of the God who alone designed him as a vessel to be filled by God’s purpose…

Solomon does not stay stuck in the mire of his disillusionment; his blog in Ecclesiastes also looks forward. But I’m saving that for another post, since I need to ruminate and meditate a bit on the weight of glory I am finding in Solomon’s holy blog…

There and back again…

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began,
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many path and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
The Old Walking Song sung by Bilbo Baggins, Chapter ‘A Long-Expected Party’.

Unlike dear old Bilbo Baggins, my latest journey did not begin just outside my door. It came upon me inside my little hobbit home and took me on a journey without ever leaving home…

I wrote the following account in my journal on September 4, 2015… After all that I have experienced, I feel as though I’ve been on a long road–there and back again…

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September 4, 2015

The last work man has come and gone. Over the course of months between October 2014 and September 2015 we have had major exterior water–proofing of our foundation, replacement of our HVAC system, replacement and upgrade of our electrical panel and interior wiring, total replacement of the concrete slab in our master bedroom, installation of an elevated commode for the master bath, complete installation of hardwired Ethernet outlets in all our rooms, repair of two major common water pipes in our ceiling, drywall replacements and repairs in all but the baths, new ceiling ventilator fans in both baths, painting throughout our apartment and new carpeting installed in the master bedroom. I am writing this in the comfort of my workstation which has been restored to its place in the freshly painted, carpeted master bedroom…

…But I don’t want to make this a complaint. It was a journey. True; it was a tiring journey, my world was disrupted and my attentions forced into managing the chaos which I hate and which ordinarily, in times past, has aroused only crankiness in my response to it; but this journey was filled with grace and mercy and the presence of the Lord in difficult circumstances…

God gave me so many blessings in the thick of this dusty experience. The blessings did not come in the absence of difficulty; they came in the midst of it—being surrounded by it. I thought I should write down the blessings, because I have trouble remembering the gentle, good things which are often eclipsed by the emotional reactions to drama and trauma…

Friends have been supportive and helpful along this journey; helping me with emptying the master bedroom for the slab construction work; supplying boxes and strong arms to pack away books and other things in preparation for the drywall and painting work. Our condo management paid for three days for my husband and I to stay in a local hotel while the dust from the concrete work settled out of the air. The crews who worked on the waterproofing, the slab and the electrical, the technical, the HVAC, the plumbing, and the paint and drywall, etc., have all been faithful and patient and courteous and honest and vigilant to complete their jobs well, with a minimum of the thorny issues often discovered when foundations are unearthed, floors are excavated, walls and ceilings are opened, pipes are exposed… In short, the phenomenon known as Pandora’s Box…

God gave me the calm to help strategize and sort out the alternatives with each crew at each stage for each job; these “monkey wrenches” did not destroy my joy, but were actually opportunities to be a witness of the sanctified grey cells God has given me in Jesus to help with solutions…

The cleaning help came and removed the fine film of white dust which settled on nearly every surface during the drywall repairs. The windows have been cleaned, the draperies laundered, the carpets vacuumed, air filters replaced…there are curtains at all the windows and I can walk around in my black crocs without having them be covered in white dust…I baked today for the first time in over a year with all the upheaval in our home…

God has granted grace and strength for each day’s work for the past year, and the peace while waiting for approval for each of the tasks which our condo association was responsible to execute and finance…the courage to work through the details of coordinating all of our personal jobs on a schedule compatible with the major tasks being scheduled by our condo association contractors…the assurance of God’s sovereignty over every detail and His presence in my dusty existence…I can scarcely believe it is finally accomplished, and I am praising God for all His mercies along the way…for keeping Edward well, and for granting me the mercy of wellness during the thick of the activity, and healing for the illnesses which came during periods of waiting between jobs…kindness in timing of my infirmities…strength to care for Edward’s needs on this long journey, and the mercy of Edward’s strength to care for me when I needed rest…but I’m still tired…so I find there’s only thing to do: trust God for the strength to rise to the tasks which remain and need attention in the immediate future; and for the strength to be restored so that I may work beyond the daily necessities of stewarding the home He has given us…

I walk by faith and not by sight while looking forward to sewing something besides drapery hems, resuming writing and returning to the joy of preparing for children’s ministry in our church…

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Postscript: Sorry, no other photos. The adventure was far too adventurous to permit time or opportunity to stop for photos…

from glory to glory…

Intellectually, I know that we are all aging; but emotionally I feel like I am the only one who is. Buried deep in the struggles and fears and griefs of my aging process emerges my prayer for understanding and purpose amid the cultural aversion to being an aging human:
“What good can possibly come out of the aches and pains and decelerating pace of life–all conditions which are congenital, intrinsic, and inevitable in my aging?”
Gently, quietly comes this answer…
“The more my earthen vessel cracks and erodes, the more of the enduring treasure I was formed by God to hold becomes exposed…”
for His glory…

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.
–2 Corinthians 4.7
If you are feeling like a crumbling rock, today, hope this little “aha” moment of mine will bless you and quiet your fears of growing older in a culture which worships at the altar of the six-pack abs.

One Man’s Dream, Another Man’s Nightmare…

Medusa WomanAfter a vividly disturbing morning dream, I awoke in a puzzled and troubled state. At first I wrestled with my initial reactions to it. Some people say it’s better to talk about nightmares, to try to understand what might be the stimulating factor in the hope that understanding will help ease any ill effects, and possibly alleviate any future occurrences. But my weaponry was at the ready, and I reached for it…


After a moment or two of prayer, calling on the Lord Jesus, the pervasive imagery faded and my thoughts began to be clear and steady. It occurred to me that many “creative” minds deal in dark and dread-dream-casting. There is a lucrative industry in peddling one’s nightmares, even projecting them on gigantic screens with all the techno magic available to induce over-stimulation of the adrenal responses of countless numbers of morbidly curious horror movie voyeurs… (Why do I need to pay precious pesos for two hours of someone else’s nightmare when I have my own vivid horror “movie” plots in my head? I could be making big bucks…)

I suppose that is one way to make something profitable out of a bad night’s sleep…

Throwing off the covers and swinging my feet over the side of the bed, I picked up my copy of “The Lord of the Rings” complete trilogy in one volume and my reading glasses, slid my mobile into my robe pocket, and shuffled off to the kitchen to heat the morning kettle. As I waited for the whistle, I opened the copy where my bookmark was set, and realized that I was embarking upon another literary nightmare for two dear hobbits trapped in the grisly grip of the Uruk-hai. Did I really need to read this after my own grisly dream…

Re-living Pippin and Merry’s nightmarish predicament and how it all unfolded and resolved, I was rewarded with these words:

As they walked they compared notes, talking lightly in hobbit-fashion of the things that had happened since their capture. No listener would have guessed from their words that they had suffered cruelly, and been in dire peril, going without hope towards torment and death; or that even now, as they knew well, they had little chance of ever finding friend or safety again. –The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, “The Uruk-Hai,” p. 458, 50th Anniversary One-Volume Edition, J.R.R. Tolkien, ©2004, Harper Collins, reprinted by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing, New York, NY, USA

There I stopped and remembered the nightmarish predicament of two other dear “halflings”–blessed “halflings,” sanctified by the grace of God in the service the Gospel of the Messiah Jesus:

And they brought them [Paul and Silas] to the magistrates, and said, “These men, being Jews, exceedingly trouble our city; and they teach customs which are not lawful for us, being Romans, to receive or observe.” Then the multitude rose up together against them; and the magistrates tore off their clothes and commanded them to be beaten with rods. And when they had laid many stripes on them, they threw them into prison, commanding the jailer to keep them securely. Having received such a charge, he put them into the inner prison and fastened their feet in the stock. But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. –Acts 16.20-25

Chained to a filthy, stinking, dark dungeon wall, they sang. “No listener would have guessed from their words that they had suffered cruelly, and been in dire peril…”006-paul-silas-prison


I will allow you, if the Holy Spirit so wins the battle for your inclinations, to pick up and read the remainder of that true event in our history on this earth. It is recorded in the book of Acts, Chapter 16, in the Bible, New Testament. No fairy tale there; but a living and true dream unfolding in the grisly grip of a nightmare of sin and corruption…

Dare you spend some time in this truth tale? Will you face the true horror? Or is your appetite for horror only inclined to techno tales and the projected images of some man’s nightmares peddled by him and his companions in a greedy grasp for power over your mind while he picks your pocket?

And my fellow travelers in Messiah Jesus, to you, I bid you compare notes with each other at every opportunity, talking of the things that have happened since Messiah captivated your heart with His love and grace and mercies, calling you into His blessed service in the midst of this true dream unfolding in the grisly grip of a nightmare of sin and corruption…

…the days are evil…be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord… –Ephesians 5.16b,18-19

TU B’SHEVAT – A NEW YEAR FOR TREES…

…A Morning Walk in February

Strolling along in our little “shire” of a neighborhood where some, like me, live half burrowed into the side of a hill, like semi-hobbits. I love the clear mornings in late winter, cool, fresh air to waken my hibernating soul out of winter’s retreat…

I strolled this morning under a lacey canopy of white clouds against the blue of heaven above me. As I walked, I scanned the tree tops, dark filigreed against the arch of the winter sky. All the branches are pregnant with the smooth grey placentas of new life gestating in their tiny little wombs…

Hope…

Promise…

Waiting…

Praising God for all His mercies, new every morning in this walk in the wilderness…

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/3264/jewish/Tu-BShevat.htm

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem…

–Psalm 122.6

Go Ahead; Make My Day!

Out of my distress I called on the Lordthe Lord answered me and set me free. –Psalm 118.5

My week was rolling with joy having enormous fun preparing for a children’s Sunday School class–more fun than I’ve had in a very long time. Everything was prepared for their busy little hands and their hungry minds. It was late, very late, but I was elated before I retired for bed in the wee hours of Sunday morning. One would think that, with the wash of elation and anticipation of the session with the K through 2nd graders, sleep would evade me and my mind would gallop onward driven by the excitement of sharing with these young minds. Not so. I was at perfect peace and able to surrender the experience with thanksgiving and trust to God’s watchful care; and so I slept–until…

…You know, the usual nocturnal call–nothing extraordinary about that; but when I turned to rise to answer it, the room began spinning like the panning sequences you see in some movies. I closed my eyes and flexed my neck and shoulders, to no avail; the room kept spinning out of control…I grabbed my cane and carefully navigated the short hall back and forth between bath and bed with a temporary relief from the vertigo. But when I crawled ever so carefully back into bed, and turned to my side to lie down and sleep, the room began to spin at an unearthly speed. I actually felt like I was standing still, yet feeling every bit of earth’s 1500-mile-per-hour spin on its axis… Settling back in bed, the room mercifully stopped spinning long enough for me to sleep another two hours before my alarm would wake me to rise and prepare to go to church. I thought when I woke that the vertigo was past; my meditation and prayer to God had put it to flight, until…

I turned to rise from bed; the earth was asserting its spin on my room again. I was first a bit alarmed, wondering what could have caused this sudden attack. Then, I was crestfallen at the thought my day would be altered and the joy of being with the young children in Sunday School would be taken from my day. I cried, “Conspiracy!” Then I called our church’s 24/7 prayer line for prayer…

“FOOL!” you say. “You should be calling 911! You could be having a heart attack–or a stroke!” Yes, I suppose that is always possible; but I wasn’t so absolutely sure of such a dramatic event as that. Anyway, I reasoned, if I die today I would rather die passing on my LIFE in Jesus to the next generation than anything else. So, I thought, “Go ahead; make my day!”  So I prayed with my friend on the phone. She, in turn, passed my distress and my need on to others in my church family who minister in prayer. I waited. I tried to slowly exercise my body in some delicately executed stretches, which helped everything except the spinning in the room. I was fine; it was the room that was in trouble, as far as I was concerned…

I waited, moving about with my cane for support as the room refused to settle down. Although my footing proved to be secure, I did not trust my ability to drive. With that unfortunate technicality in mind, I called my teacher partner. Voice mail. Left her a message about the possibility she would  need to recruit a helper and to be prepared to teach the class if I could not arrive in time to set up the classroom. Nearly half an hour had passed since my prayers were spoken in one accord with my friend on the prayer line. I began to consider hiring a taxi to drive me to church, or just resigning myself to the victory of spiritual opposition throwing a wet blanket on my day. Until…

I noticed something was changing; the feelings in my stomach changed from an edgy quease to more of a quiet suggestion of hunger. In the moments following, I found relief from the earth’s intrepid rotation on its axis. The wild ride had come to an end. I could move; I could bend to dress; I could–DRIVE…

First thing I thought of were my friends on the prayerline who needed an update; no sense keeping them occupied in earnest intercession for me when God had already answered our prayers. I called my friend with my news. I was humbled to hear her answer me that she had been standing in the kitchen asking God over and over again, “Please, Father, make this go away so she can go and teach the children!” She was as ecstatic as I was, and dismissed me with a blessing to get ready and go…

God did not disappoint me. My teaching partner and I were like cream in coffee–smooth and energizing. Our activities and story time went better than I can remember from some years past…DID WE HAVE FUN??? YES! WE. HAD. FUN! Knee deep in the Word of God at the waters of the Jordan River with Jesus and John, God the Father and the Holy Spirit, God made my day…

…And if I die today, I will die having served my Lord and Love, Jesus Christ, exactly the way He has formed me to serve…

What Can I Give the Lord Jesus?

tower of the flock

Merry Christmas to everyone!

 I am writing this on a fairly mild evening here in our metro DC area. God has been abundantly kind to us thus far this season as far as the weather goes. The mercies of milder weather make recovering from some strain of the flu which my vaccine did not cover a little less dismal. Praying you are not having to deal with the same health problems…

The highlights of our year have been the extravagant grace and mercies of God in all our experiences—the pleasant and the painful—quite exotic, actually. I’m writing stream of conscious as I relate to you what we have experienced this year. We both have enjoyed the eyesight to behold the beauty of the earth in creation—even in its fallen condition for the moment and eyesight to behold it. Each season previous to this one has yielded its own kind of beauty, from springtime blossoms to autumn gold; and we are blessed to be living in a particularly lovely area of the country. Our neighborhood is a perfect place for daily walks, sheltered and scenic—an oasis in an urbanized suburb. I have retained my hearing to enjoy the sounds of birdsong high in the oaks in our neighborhood even as late as early December. Edward has lost a major portion of his hearing, so his ability to train his ears to hear birds is challenged. Every now and then, however, he picks it up—especially if we are sitting on the patio on a summer evening before sundown when all the birds are having their last songfest before nightfall. I would say that having a relative degree of good health in our golden years is a great blessing. To be sure, it’s not nearly the health we formerly enjoyed; we have our treasures in earthen vessels, and our vessels are aging as would be expected. When we were younger, and when we watched our parents age and our elder siblings age, we knew one day we would most likely experience similar losses of vigor. Still, when it comes, it is natural to think more of the losses and grieve instead of looking to what God is giving in return and give thanks… With these kinds of limitations, I was wondering what is left for me to give in the years remaining… There are lots of Christmas carols with words that speak of bringing gifts to the Lord Jesus, but I found there is a song that more accurately sings of my Christmas devotion

Edward and I have been together for 45 years; and Edward celebrated his 75th birthday in November. I will be 67 in January, and have chronic weaknesses which not only keep me from being more obnoxious than I am already, but which tend to age me closer to Ed’s chronological and physical age. We do a lot of looking out for each other; thankfully, God has seen fit to protect us from both being unusually afflicted with something at the same time. We walk more slowly, we move more carefully, we think more carefully, we speak more carefully, we expect less of the world, trust God more, and value life and love more. We are thankful for another year of:

  • freedom from oppression; protection from dangers; safety and blessings when we come in and when we go out…
  • comforts of home and sufficient funds to cover ordinary and some unexpected expenditures…
  • daily joys of our covenant love as we age together and sufficient strength and abundant grace to accomplish what we need to do each day to stay clean, nourished, alert, engaged, informed, prayerful, thankful, compassionate, and human…
  • new connections with family we have missed, long-time friends, new friends, hugs and many kindnesses extended to us, gatherings of friends for shared hope, faith and activities…
  • the gifts of laughter and tears and prayers and music and courage and healing…
  • the Word of God for counsel, correction, comfort, assurance; the presence of God and the still, small voice of His Spirit to direct and counsel…
  • the experience of being changed more from glory to glory—another year closer to Messiah’s return…

In the meantime, we send our blessings to you. Have a lovely Christmas with all your family and friends.

Feeling, thinking, thanking God–and not writing…

The Print Shop 3.5 Deluxe

Weeks have passed and my head is full of so many thoughts. It’s like mail–some of it is junk, too–that piles up unopened, unsorted, unanswered, left on a compost heap piling higher and beginning to smolder…

I look at the “head mail” and, just like looking at the stack of postal mail which collects and torments from my desk, I flinch and in my inertia, I whimper at it unable to lay hold of the faculty to sort the thoughts to be of any use to me or anyone else… My brain cells are stuck on feeling and thinking, but my brain-to-expression ability is unplugged for the moment…

Have I prayed? Yes. Indeed, I have, and I continue my conversations with the Lord. Praying is the air I breathe; my Lifeline…

Am I listening for God’s answer on this issue? Yes. Indeed, I am. And in the quietness I am comforted with the assurance that it’s okay to have a season of thought and feeling, inexpressible to anyone but God… After all, I am not at the center of this blog; it’s not all about me, me, me. It’s about Jesus in this life given to me. Apparently, this is going to be one of those aspects of the life God has given me to discover how great He is–how great His EXPRESSION is, when words fail me…So, dear blogging friends, keep writing what God gives you to share. I’m reading. I’m finding words to comment and encourage you while I wait on God to grant me utterance to finish some writing which has been interrupted by life and circumstances and my own limitations…I will keep on reading and encouraging you as God permits each day…

In the meantime, I am giving thanks for all things–including the weaknesses–knowing that His grace is sufficient, and His strength is made perfect in my weakness… and I keep walking with Christ in this wilderness, trusting Him for the words of encouragement, praise, and testimony in due time.

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