…from glory to glory

In the strength of the Lord…

I woke this morning not feeling well–not feeling well at all. My entire night was a series of brief sleep periods interrupted by pain which I began experiencing earlier in the evening. I cannot put my finger on any one thing which might have triggered the pain which was accompanied by a persistent, but low-grade queasiness and a general feeling of un-wellness. I suspected that my thorn in the flesh, aka chronic fatigue syndrome, has reared its ugly head after a relatively long period of remission. Diagnosed with this, my own private adversary, nearly 30 years ago, I am no stranger to its devious tactics, attacking at the most unsuspecting times. It’s fickle; it retreats for awhile, lulling a “type A” into shifting recklessly into high gear. It blindsides when it re-emerges, wreaking havoc on all the momentum gained during its retreat, and somehow manages to confuse its victim about its visitation when the collection of its tools of torture begins its work of eroding both body and soul. It wrenches all the motivation and strength out of its victims, leaving them caught on a wicked tightrope between illness and wellness–it can go either way at any time…

Facing the day caught in a body tormented by the weakness and uncertainty about whether I was going to function at any level or simply cling to my bed was not my idea of a good morning. Had I not spent time praying in the night during those intermittent wakeful times between sleep, I would have missed God’s answer to my prayers when I felt His prodding to take courage and make a start this morning. Just enough of His strength to move my reluctant body out of the bed, planting my feet squarely on the floor and take the first step…

god strength2

Hot tea! That was my first thought upon discovering I could move without pain, although the queasiness was still stalking me. Thanks to my husband’s own eagerness for morning tea, I heard the comforting, merciful whistle of the kettle beckoning me to come and find therapy in the steamy, mellow blend brewing in my mug. I couldn’t help thanking God for so simple and basic mercy as the hot tea… And as I sipped and savored it, feeling the warmth flow through my aching being, I realized that I could take the next step, as God wooed me to trust His strength. I found I could stomach some toast with the tea; it did not turn to pain as I feared it might… Then I discovered I could consider putting on my jeans and working quietly for just a little while in my garden. God blessed me with the help of my husband, who, suffering with his own chronic pain and weakness, set a goal which we both could manage in the strength of the Lord…

Onward we went together, the Lord and I, a step at a time, throughout the day–a little bit of work and time to rest; no thoughts of retreat into my bed. My heart was encouraged by the triumphs of God’s presence, help and strength in my weakness; He won the victory for me over my inclination to hide, waiting and hoping for a painless day before I would walk with Him…

This evening, my thoughts don’t come so easily as I exercise my brain to put words to this day’s tender mercies. Nevertheless, I sense the presence and strength of the Lord to simply add a description of this moment in my life to the journals of the many lives in this community of writers. Someone out there is feeling weak in a world that has no patience with weakness. May my weakness entrusted to the strength of the Lord encourage someone among my readers who needs The Strength that the world cannot supply nor can the inner self summon.

I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD…

–Psalm 71.16a

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2 thoughts on “In the strength of the Lord…

  1. So CFS is your desert then, to grow strong in. I struggle with my own thorns and sometimes wonder if it is God trying to pull me to listen to what He has to say. And slowing me down to be still and hear Him. Thankfully, He has taken me out of a heap of fear of not knowing what I have. Sometimes I wonder if I am wrestling with principalities or my own medical issues when it comes to sleep. Yes, a wonderful thing to do when you can’t sleep -pray. Praying for good rest for us all!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Isn’t it nice to know that when we roll over, he is still there with us, even if we can’t get out of the bed!! Thanks for writing this. I love your blog.

    Liked by 2 people

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